Super Paper Stuck
by TheSemasin
Summary: (Based off the game Super Paper Mario) Count Vantas is trying to destroy all dimensions, and it's up to John and his new friends to stop him! But with darker truths and enemies appearing along the way, can John save the worlds and figure out the true meanings to the story? (Rated T for Language, sorry if they seem OOC)


**Hey guys! So, I decided to make a Homestuck Fanfiction off my all time favourite Mario game, Super Paper Mario! The story and the characters are memorable and amazing, along with its awesome plot. If you haven't played it, I do suggest it! Anyway, this isn't really a crossover; the story's based off the game but is altered for a more Homestuck-y feel. There are definitely spoilers for Homestuck and Super Paper Mario, so do watch out. I hope you all enjoy! **

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Prologue

...

John stretched his arms out as he walked into the dining room. A dark blue shirt with darker overalls and brown shoes was what he wore, slipping his glasses onto his face as he sat down. His younger twin sister Jade came up behind him and handed him a cup of coffee, although no words were said. Jade was wearing a neon green tank with an overall skirt and brown laced boots. She too had glasses, although more circular. Placing herself in the seat opposite John's, she took a sip of her coffee as well before breaking the silence.

"Wow…sure is peaceful today, eh John?"

John nodded in agreement as he took another sip of his coffee. Jade huffed and rested her head in her hand while leaning on the table. Her dog's ears twitched as her green eyes drifted upwards.

"Makes a girl feel lucky, having a peaceful day…"

John focused his attention on his twin, realizing the raven-haired girl would have more to say on the matter.

"Yup. Reeeeeaaal peaceful. It's so peaceful, it's almost a bit boring. It makes you just want a…KERBLOOEY! Y'know? Some kind of shocking event…"

"Yeah, you have a point," John said in agreement. "It is kinda boring." John thought for a minute as Jade shifted her gaze over toward him.

"Hey! Why don't we go visit Princess Rose?"

"Ooh yeah! At her place maybe? I bet she'd think of something cool! Maybe we should go visit the Squiggle Castle! It has been a while. I'm sure Rose would be happy to see us!"

The twins hopped out of their chairs and chattered about their plans. They grabbed their hats on the way out; two caps with corresponding colours to their shirts and their initials, which happen to both be the letter J. John locked the door as the two made their way out of their house: The Crocker Residence. However, their joyful mood was soon dampened by the incoming of a nakodile.

"NAK! J-J-J-J-J-J-JOHN! HEEELLLPPP! NAK NAK!"

"Nakathan? What seems to be the issue here? Why are you so distressed?" Jade said, trying to stay calm.

"I-its sh-shocking…Squiggle Castle…RAIDED! Princess Rose…STOLEN!"

"That's not that shocking, it happens about twice a week," John muttered under his breath, although thankfully nobody heard.

"WHAAAAAAT?" Jade said, visibly horrified. "Why, that's ridiculous! Who in the world would DO such a thing?"

John took a deep breath. This might take a while.

Realization finally hit Jade, and she turned around to John, snapping with a smile on her face.

"Oh! I bet it's _that guy_, you know, _that BAD GUY_!"

"You're gonna have to be more specific."

"Oh hush up John! Let's go sneak into his castle and get the princess back! I won't stand for this! LET'S GO~!"

Jade and John ran off, leaving nakodile alone at their house.

"Nak! We're counting on you Crocker Kids! Nak nak! I wonder what they have in their mailbox…nak."

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…

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The outsides of Castle Strider were probably more terrifying than King Strider himself. A sea of lava surrounded the stone castle, and the only path looked like it would crumble just by stepping on it. Spurts of lava got too close for John's comfort, but Jade seemed to be fine. The twins then foud their way in, being ever so quiet…

Not that it mattered much.

"Yo minions!" King Strider said in a booming monotone voice. "Listen well. It's time to initiate the awesome fucking plot to invade Squiggle Castle. Today is the day I make the beloved Princess Lalonde all mine! And if for some reason you don't think that's awesome enough, in which case you're fucking nuts, I'll also crush those stupid Crocker Twins." King Dave Strider was dressed in a red knight's outfit with no hood. His cape was spiked, and behind it was an easily accessible flamethrower.

King Strider held one arm up in the air as his spiked cape flew behind him with a magical plot device wind to make him look cooler. The other hand adjusted his sunglasses as he kept his straight face. A crowd of nakodiles and salamanders all screeched in agreement and cheered for his awesomeness. Some cheered chants for King Dave Strider, others screamed how it was their turn. A couple of them said something about being under atta-

Wait.

"Under attack? By what?" King Strider said, pushing his glasses down onto the bridge of his nose. His red eyes scanned the army that laid before him, before coming upon two particularly sinister looking minions in the back. King Strider rolled his eyes.

"God dammit, we shave around here you morons!"

He held up his flamethrower, causing his army to make a path toward our heroes.

"Oh god it's you two. How the actual hell did you guys get in here?!"

"Dude," John began. "Your front gate was open."

Dave said nothing, pushing his sunglasses back up and turning on his heel.

"How ironic," he cooed, smiling slightly before returning to his normal monotone expression.

"I thought I told you idiots A THOUSAND TIMES; if you're the last goddamn person in, CLOSE THE FUCKING GATE!" He held up his flamethrower again and shot it upwards, causing all his minions to step back again.

"Quiet, Dave!" Jade said harshly. "We know you took Princess Rose! Now where is she?!"

King Strider turned around again, his face less stern and in a somewhat confused expression.

"Where is- wait, what? What are you talking about? Only now am I about to launch my attack…"

"JOHN! HELP!"

The three looked up to find Princess Rose trapped in some sort of magic cage. All three called her name in unison, but she only looked down at them with a sorrowful face. She looked fine beside that; her dark pink dress was the same as always with her black headband and black earrings. She held her black gloved hand up to the cage and grasped a bar, screaming another 'Help Me!' down for good measure. Next to her soon appeared a man in a white tux wielding a black book and a cane. He had a tall white hat and a white cape to match it, which compared well in contrast with his grey skin. Horns also stood out of his hat (although they were kind of nubby) and a monocle rested on his left eye.

"FUCKERS!" He screamed with vigor. "Your princess hasn't been captured by Stridork here, but by me!"

"Excuse you I run a blog."

Mystery Jackass glared at King Strider before continuing on his pointless rampage.

"Well, who are you?" John asked, folding his arms.

Mystery Jackass bowed politely before screaming once more.

"By me," he started. "Count Vantas!"

"What a lame name," King Strider muttered. He was once again disregarded.

"The chosen executor of the Dark Prognosticus is also me! And the person chosen to come to this dimension is yet again me!"

"I'll tell you who makes no ounce of sense," King Strider began. "Count Motherfucking Vantas! Release the princess goddammit I'm on a schedule over here."

"And guess what motherfucker? Count Vantas says not on your pathetic human waste of a life! This princess is integral to fulfilling the prophecies."

"Of course," Princess Rose muttered.

"She will be brought to Castle Vantas and will be used to destroy all worlds…by Count Vantas."

"Destroy…all worlds?" Jade said, mortified.

"I've had enough of this bullshit!" John ran over and leapt through the air, aiming to crush Vantas. However, he too had a magic cage barrier thing which caused John to be blown back by the fource.

"Shit!"

"John!"

John stood back up, only for Vantas to begin his magic. He flung his cape open, casting a harming spell onto John. This sucked him into a mini vortex, knocking him out after slow suffering.

"BIG BROTHER!"

Jade rushed over to him, kneeling down next to his unconscious body. She glared up at Vantas as she pushed John gently over to the side.

"This man deserves only ridicule. Weaklings cannot face me!"

"Hey, here's a thought," hissed King Strider, pulling out his flamethrower. "You can calm down and free the princess…OR ELSE."

King Strider's Army huddled around him and the Count, with Jade standing by the King's side.

"Ha ha ha…" Count Vantas bellowed. "Your princess shall NOT be returned. In fact…"

The Count glanced over at King Strider, a smirk appearing on his face.

"Dave Strider, evil King of the Dersites, Count Vantas shall _take you too!_"

"Wait, wha-"

Count Vantas spread his cape to each side and cast another spell. A flashing light appeared from behind him as a bigger vortex appeared behind him.

"HAHAHAHAHAA!"

Everyone in the room was sucked up by the vortex. The entirety of the army flew in only a few moments. The Princess was sucked in with no issues, due to being trapped in the cage barrier thing. King Strider had grabbed Jade and tried to hold ground with a sword, but was eventually sucked in too, with both of them screaming. When the room fell silent with everyone gone, Count Vantas chuckled to himself. "Finally! My fucking preparations are finally in order! All that remains is for that stupid void to appear, as foretold in the prophecy… HA HA HA HA HAAA!" He then transported himself to his castle, leaving the room to fall silent. All that remained in the desolate castle was the lone body of John, knocked out cold on the floor.

...

This is where our story begins.

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**Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie**

**Super Paper Mario belongs to Nintendo**

**I own nothing but the idea!**


End file.
